Yearly Archives: 2005

No Sleep in Brooklyn

I am not sure what the deal is but it seems that off and on throughout my life I have had trouble sleeping. Last night I was up til 5am. It is not uncommon for this to happen maybe 3 times a week. If it happens once and a while I don’t mind, but after a couple nights it kind of throws me into a shitty cycle of zombism. Anyhow, I got up today and was determined to finish this zine I’m working on and I go down to the local net cafe and try and print out my shit, the place is run by this carribean dude who always says shit like “my friend…” and goes on about being a musician or why American women don’t smile or some shit like that. Usually it is cool cause I just go and get my shit done and get out. Today his shitty printers wouldn’t spit out my handiwork. Everytime I was about to give up and leave, he’s all “my friend, it will work…” so I’d stick around. Anyhow I wasted 2 hours. Then near the time I was about to leave, this guy, who was wearing nylon jogging pants bends over and there was his thong hanging out. I was in shock. Why is this man wearing a thong? At what point in his encounters does he think that a thong is going to enhance his life? I am really confused.

Then at the pizza place there was this lady with her 2 kids and a baby. She was really mean to the kids smacking them in the face and being all “do you want some fucking pizza or not.” She scared me and the pizza guy. I was thinking, lady your kids are going to hit you back someday.

Christmas Attacks

A short battle ensued, and Christmas won again after the 2005th year. After a week or two of holiday parties where most of the conversation revolved around the other holiday parties you have or have to attend, I flew home to KS. Scott picked me up and we stopped in Lawrence for some pizza and then home to meet Lorenzo the Italian. That night my mom invited my friends over to eat chili and cinnamon rolls. Friday night me and my brother took the Italian and a German kid to see Walk the Line. I asked them what they thought, and the German said “it was not the best movie.” I said, “you’re welcome.” Little shits. Christmas Eve I wrapped my presents and we had dinner and opened the presents. I got some dvds and household needs. On the 25th Scott and Lorenzo headed off to the airport and me, mom, and Paul the German went out to grandma’s. We ate, did the gift exchange thing. I got some hankerchiefs and a pocket knife. That night we gathered at Jakes for beer drinking. Everyone planned ahead for No Sunday Beer Sales and there were 5 or 6 cases of beer for 8 people. I made an effort to drink all those beers but gave up when I was alone at 2am reading a book. Went to the Cooker, then Sam picked me up and we went to Lawrence and went to Free State on the way to KC. That night we ate dinner at Matt Blume’s and went out on the town. Jumping from closing bar to closing bar. I think we ate a bunch of tamales at 3am. Tuesday I felt dried up and shitty. Sam took me to the airport, and I upgraded my seat to first class and got my ass back to Brooklyn.

Also I read A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, as recommended by Oprah last September. I’ve noticed a lot of middle aged moms reading this. It is about this dude going through rehab and it is really fucked up.

Strike, Bike

Well the stupid lousy subway went on strike this morning. At first I was a little bit excited. But after I realized I’d left my laptop at the office yesterday I got annoyed. So, I put on 4 layers and hopped on my bike for a little 4.5 mile ride in 30 degree weather. It wasn’t that bad though. I think maybe I might get some health insurance and try it more often. The next big annoyance will be trying to get to the airport on Thursday morning now that traffic is shittier than ever and cabs are in high demand.

No Comments

Finally, someone took a picture of the sticker I made.

I’ve just logged on to delete the submit comment code from my site. I get about 10 e-mails every day asking me to approve comments for card games or some shit. It makes more sense because I don’t want your input anyhow! In other news: Nothing is new. Living with Jennie is good. At present I am pretty annoyed with our roommate, also named Jen. She has invited her boyfriend of less than one month to practically live in our apt. He is a nice enough guy, but there’s got to be some boundaries here. Dr. Phil has at least taught us that. Here is a list of things I have done that were on my computer’s calendar:

    Arcade Fire concert
    Darren visits
    Sam visits
    Sufjan Stevens concert
    Weekend upstate
    Gino got married
    Fancy dinner with Kelly
    There’s been some other things I am sure.
    I get a haircut this afternoon.

3 Weeks

Brad came to visit for one night the other weekend. We saw a pretty kick ass band, Satanicide. Then we went out and got drunk. He left the next day, it was quick.

Went to a wedding in St. Joe Missouri this weekend. Arrived Friday night, went to the rehearsal, then dinner at Carlos O’Kelly’s (Mexican or Irish?), Josh refused to wear the sombrero. Then out to some shady bars. Josh and Anne got married by Anne’s priest brother Vince. Then Vince was the wedding singer! Amazing. The first jam was I’m a Believer by the Monkees (originally written by Neil Diamond). The band was actually pretty good and people danced. We swiped a keg and hosted the after party in my room. We were so loud, I can’t believe we didn’t get called on by the front desk. The next morning the housekeeper knocked on the door in the morning and said “oh Jesus.” Everyone got together for lunch at a joint across the parkiing lot called “Bandanas” I had a sandwich named the “Wet Bandana.” Then to Matt Blume’s, he just got cable and a dog. One night we met Tom and Stef out for a drink at the Cigar Box, classy place. I had Oklahoma Joes for lunch the next two days for lunch. A total of 3 bbq lunches in 3 days.

In other news: I am moving in with Jennie soon. I got some business cards in honor of the event. Mike is moving into my old tree fort. There was a snake in our apartment, but if slithered out and the neighbor caught it. I’ve listened to Sufjan Steven’s, Illinois 20 times. My mom has a foreign exchange student living in our house.

I really enjoy instant message chatting on the computer. This is what it is like:

    matt: you can really tell it is friday here
    sam: phoning it in?
    matt: lots of chatter
    sam: grab ass?
    matt: i outta box your ears!
    sam: i’m gonna go for a bike ride
    sam: l8r

Los Angeles ↝ Caribbean

On Thursday, July 14 me and Jennie left for Los Angeles, I think we got in there about midnight or so.

Friday we went shopping, I bought some used clothes for too much money and we drove all over and went to the Museum of Jurassic Technology. That night we couldn’t find anything to do so we drank wine and looked at the internet.

Saturday I met up with Mike O’Brien at the beach. I said to him “Mike, six years ago if you were to ask me what we’d be doing I would never have said that we’d be laying out like a couple of nancy boys.” That lasted about an hour, neither of us are beach dudes, and we couldn’t hide it. Me and Jennie then drove up to another beach in Malibu, and went to a couple of parties that night.

Sunday we saw Willie Wonka. It was fun to watch. I got to the airport at 8:30 Sunday night.

Monday morning I arrive at JFK and head over to another terminal and get on the plane to Miami. I am about to embark on a 4 day cruise in the Bahamas that Grant is going on because the company he works for sells a bunch of this certain kind of tractor. Just as I am about to get on the plane I get a call from Grant that he has missed his flight in Kansas, and he’ll meet me the next day. I get to Miami and get in a van with two old couples that are with the same group. They don’t talk to me. I get all checked in and meet up with the leaders of the group. They look at me kind of funny cause I don’t fit in. I am on the ship with no friends so I sit in my room and watch TV for a bit and try to nap. Early afternoon I decide to explore the ship and found the bar pretty quick. All expenses were paid, so I loosened up with a few cold ones. Went to the social functions and tried not to give too many details about my life. The other people wanted to talk about tractors, so I asked them questions. By 10 I was pretty drunk and I fell asleep.

Tuesday we ported at Nassau, went to the beach and swam, it was really nice. Crystal clear water and warm, the beach was pretty empty too. Found Grant on the boat that afternoon, we started drinking. That night there was some kind of midnight party by the pool. We partied.

Wednesday we went to CocoCay, an island owned by the cruise line. It was not as good and they cleared us out at 3 in the afternoon. We drank a lot again and made plans to meet up with some other kids at 11, but we fell asleep at 10:30.

Thursday we ported in Key West. We went on this boat called the “Crazy Boat” it delivers what it promises. That afternoon I was convinced I couldn’t have another beer, as I was experiencing some pretty sharp pains in my chest. But I surprised myself on our pub crawl. Key West has a lot of bars and they all have a guy with a guitar singing all day. Lots of people were partying and it was only 2 in the afternoon. That night at dinner one of the old tractor guys, Paul from Kentucky (talks like an old hound dog), told us to meet him on deck 11 later. We partied with this old dude all night. Friday we had to get off the boat at 9am. I was pretty damn tired.

Back in New York I began the healing process. It only lasted one night though. Saturday me and Mike went to look at art. Then we saw Firecracker, the movie filmed in Wamego. It was so terrible I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t have high hopes for this movie, it surpassed my expectations, only in the wrong direction. Just painful to watch. The me and Mike drank a ton of beer to try and forget the experience.

Last Week

Back from Kansas Monday night. Dinner and hanging out with Jennie upon arrival. Tuesday, back to work. I had some trouble sleeping this week, twice I was woken up at 3am and couldn’t fall back asleep until 7–8 in the morning. No big deal though. Thursday Kate E. arrived with a bag full or wares to sell in the park all weekend. We did a lot of hanging out all weekend. Went and saw the movie Rize on Sunday night.

Lane Wedding

Arrived in Kansas City late Friday night. The flight was cramped and the old dude next to me was old and listening to 50 Cent. The Martin brothers picked me up with my old KS friend Keystone Light ready to go. We stayed at Phil’s house that night, I had El Monteray Burritos. Woke up early and went to Oklahoma Joe’s for bbq, Then waited all day for the bachelor party to start. We all shot the shit on the porch for a bit, went out for some mexican food. Headed out to Westport for drinking. Ran into a few people as I thought we would. Dudes tried to pick up chicks with minimal success. Then back to the hotel for the evening’s entertainment. It was a last minute call, but it all worked out. After a few hours of sleep it was time to check out, headed to Arthur Bryant’s for my second bbq lunch.

Then back to Wamego. Mom had Jake, Alison, and Shawn Lane over for dinner. Ate and talked. Was pretty tired that night. I spent most of my days trying to motivate myself to work on this site for Brooke’s boss. I only sort of know what I am doing, so it is kind of hard to get started. Most nights were spent on Jake’s porch drinking a few too many light beers.

Friday headed up to Nebraska for the wedding weekend. Checked out the tux and rehearsed the whole scene. We did great. A good wedding team was formed. Then to dinner at the local steak house. A good hustle was exhibited by all. Jessica’s grandmother was the center of attention, as she was funny and crazy. Headed back to the Pioneer Village motel. It was straight out of the 70s, I thought it was pretty cool and would make a great location for a photo shoot.

Saturday was the main event, we got to the church early for photo time. I did my duties as best man by signing the wedding certificate and providing morale support, though it wasn’t really necessary as everyone was in a good mood. The mothers seemed sort of nervous, but everything was in control. Ceremony went off without a hitch and I managed not to lose the ring. After that we were piled into Buzz’s wedding trolley. Buzz liked to honk the horn. We bought way too much beer and tried our best to drink it all. The reception was in a restored opera house and the wedding party got to sit on the stage which was pretty rad. I felt pretty royal up there watching the peasants eat their food. It came time to make my speech and I did so, but I can’t really remember what I said, it was like I was in a trance when it was happening, I think it went over well. No one was offended as far as I know. I tried to dance every dance at the reception, but I think I missed a few, and wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for me to get down to baby got back. Went back to the motel and tried to party hard, but I was pretty exhausted and only managed to party medium, but I made it until 3 am I think. It was great to see everyone and I was really happy to be the best man. Slept in my tux and woke up nice and fresh for a 5 hour journey home in a car with little to no air conditioning. I was in the back seat with Curtis and Sara. I was in the sun. I was miserable. But I tried not to complain. Sara didn’t have any problem holding back her concerns though.

Arrive at Matt Blume’s. He cooked me up a sausage and we played computers. Then went to see Cinderella Man, a good movie that provides entertainment. I liked the party with the boxing. Some people were literally on the edge of their seats. I woke up this morning and had my final meal of the trip — Oklahoma Joes — symmetry.

Flight Delayed

Nearly a few minutes until I go to the aiport where I expect I will be sitting for quite a while. My flight has already been pushed back 1.5 hrs, and I am sure it will be longer. Since I last blogged the MTV thing went down. They set up an entire 2nd apartment within our apartment Lots of toys and records and cds everywhere, plus about 20 crew members. They were generally respectful and didn’t do a great job cleaning up after they left, but that is ok. We made some money and got a few pieces of furniture out of the deal. I have yet to hear if the show is going to get picked up, but I doubt it. If it does go on tv, they might shoot here more long term.

The next week Josh Lake came to visit, we did some walking around the city, some drinking and saw the Decemberists. It was a really good show, the last one of the tour. They did this mind control trick where they got the whole audience to sit on the ground. Josh got some extra energy from the Polish beer they were serving and convinced this short girl to get on his shoulders. He seemed to be regretting that offer half way through the song, I blame her poor posture. We invited her out for a post-show drink, where she missed the opportunity to knock back a Jager shot courtesy of Mr. Lake.

For Memorial Day I went up to North Adams for Nato’s opening, Becoming Animal, it was pretty interesting. There were the usual parties that occur with North Adams visits. During lunch Ingrid said the best thing, in regards to the new Britney Spears reality show; “first of all, she looks like she is made of boogers.” That really blew my mind.

The next weekend was my birthday. Nine of us went to dinner at this new restaurant, where they seated us all on the same side of this long table similar to the last supper. It was kind of akward. I got some oversized head phones from Willow and Jeff gave me a portrait of myself and a cd of his own band. Then we all went to my house for the motivational speaker Jennie had hired to speak. We met up with Gary the motivational speaker on the street. He was a little bald character with a nice brooklyn mustache wearing a thrift store suit that was a little too big. His speech went like a typical AA meeting from what I could tell. He’d been out of prison almost a year to the day, and he was writing a book. Most people were depressed by his talk, but impressed with the event. I then proceded to kick everyone out of my apartment at midnight to go to the lamest bar in town. Jen Neilsen gave me flowers, and a stranger gave me a big bottle of Shiraz.

Saturday night Liz and her boyfriend Peter had a snacks party. It was to welcome them into their tiny, hot apartment… it was a good time. I like small parties with funny people who aren’t compelled to yell and break things when they drink. I did an on-demand downloading dj set. UB40’s Red Red Wine was the hit of the night.

Sunday we all took the subway to Coney Island where we laid on the beach and ate hot dogs and onion rings and ice cream and went to the sideshow and saw people swallow swords, eat fire, lay on nails, etc.

I’ve also been working nearly full time at ecko clothes. It isn’t too bad of a job, the pace is pretty slow, and I have friends Brian and Dan to chat with once and a while. There is this british dude who sits next to me and is usually annoying, however when he walked in this afternoon wearing the same clothes as yesterday and proceeded to tell the story of waking up at the hospital only 30 minutes prior, having no idea how he ended up there, I was amused.

Blog Time

On Monday some people from MTV came to our apt and looked at it, they are filming some type of pilot and needed a sort of crappy nyc apartment. Our was perfect they said. However they never called back. That afternoon Jennie graduated from college, I met up with her family and we went to a little ceremony and to get some food. Then I met them again for dinner at this crazy mid-town asian restaurant with a giant buddha statue. Then I worked a couple of days at A&E. It was so boring, Surfing the internet in a cubicle isn’t as good as surfing the net at home. This weekend I really only went to bars and walked around the city. Saturday I rode the Staten Island Ferry just for kicks and to be on a boat. Last night I saw a good documentary called Mad Hot Ballroom, it was about inner-city 11 year olds competing at ballroom dancing. Oh, and I bought my plane tickets home, I’ll be coming in June 10 – 20. I am homesick!

(update: MTV will be filming here this week)