We gave out $60 worth of candy in two hours. One piece at a time.

“Say trick or treat” … “say thank you.” — said practically every parent that shuffled their kids to our doorstep. Parents: brief your kids before they go out. It makes no sense to go through this process over and over.

The costumes were lame, tossed-on, store-bought things. Most common were Disney princess (Ariel?) and some grey and red superhero. Very few kids w/ face paint. I didn’t see even one paper bag head. A lot of the parents had excellent costumes though.

I was more annoyed at parents collecting candy on behalf of infants than I was at uncostumed teens with shopping bags.

Parent presents me w/ open bag, “trick or treat”
Me: “Who’s that for?”
Bag holder: “The baby.”
Me: Looks at sleeping baby in stroller, “The baby has to ask for it.”

A funny thing (that I probably did as a kid) was the candy analysis while walking away. “Yes, Nerds!” or “sort of look at the generic lollipop and dump it back in the sack w/o comment.” A neighbor appeared to be giving out bags of Doritos.

Favorite Jokes:

• Asking a dog if it was dressed up as a dog.
• Calling kids a similar costume Hey Tiger (giraffe), Hey Spiderman (Superman), Hey Chewbacca (werewolf)…
• Giving the Angry Bird kids Swedish Fish. Nerds for the geeky kids.